and finally

james asked me how i'd liked your "woodcutter" zen play, and put the book back into my hands. wondering how to reply, i noticed the bit of paper i'd left in it - yes, marking the one incongruity that i'd noticed how the essence lay in one sense in the sight of an old mother's face with all the ravages of time inscribed in living beauty - or words to that effect - yet you, the author have suffered a face-lift, why?

so i asked james, but let him off lightly when he was non-plussed to this invitation to join in the chorus of his mother's praises. why, marianne, did you make this enormous sacrifice ? i ask to understand, not to reproach. i explain how i come to ask. (were their marks you personally hated, or for purely career/society reasons fashion suffer for fashion rather than drop-out ? then i who dropped out ask

but you owe it to your audiences to explicate, or you join in the conspiracy of silence that you denounce. either/or marianne self-interest or agape or or or