dying once already, etc

1. are you a workaholic? you certainly have amazing vitality and productivity. if you are, you might have to change hugely to accomodate my new "me" !

2. Dave Mowatt's intro : you did indicate receipt, but my SENT box showed a total mess, so i was misled.

3. my death experience. it went a bit like this. late September 1977, totally at the end of my tether, an exhausted failure , i was trudging up our lane here one morning to visit a dude caravanner who'd called the night before. my heart slowed, my feet slowed, my mind reviewed my situation, diagnosed heart failure and reviewed the nodes of its formation, its life, somewhat like HAL in 2001....complete acceptance ("better thus"). my conscious brain died (lack of blood?), i began to fall....(but it seems i was just at the end of a gentle rise, and the ground fell away as my feet tottered, so i stumbled on a few paces - and presumably the movement restarted the heart, because....)... consciousness returned, my mind diagnosed "after-death", and thought "how splendid, here is after-life, and it begins where the other left off, and look, there's the caravan and black horse waiting for me".

the leader was understanding, gave me a cup of tea (they were just brewing up), and accompanied me to "where i'd died" - only my feet stopped a couple of yards short, and a bit to one side. funny, i said. my feet stop here but i died there.. yes, he said, that's the "gap" - or some such word, i've never been quite sure - but his assurance helped me. Later, at midnight, i said to Alma, that there seemed no alternative, i'd have to become a "guru" now. then next morning, when we (2+2) woke up, we were all blissful, "in paradise here and now"

i think my "no response" email to the Budapest Club office, copy to you, indicates how i have since come to think of the death of an i and its replacement by a quite different one. the subsequent journey has been enthralling (literally!). the i i now have is certainly not "mine", though equally certainly located in my body, and doubtless due to terminate with this body - but it is only an outpost of ....? enough for the moment to suppose of the i of the species, contemplating and worshipping the wonder of it all.

but it has only limited regard for the achievements of our "civilization" - except that we have gained (as a species) amazing knowledge of cosmos, planet, and life in all its forms - so that if we now (as i expect) re-enter paradise (as a species), we shall not only be free of ego, but also sapient : wise and loving, another miracle to add to those we already recognise in our miraculous cosmos (on which see perhaps the science chapter in ervin laszlo-s book CHAOS POINT ....he gives us till 2012 to change)....i have long expected to die a second time around christmas 2011......we shall see : "the test of the pudding is in the eating".

wishing you all happiness whatever, hugh